Friendship with the opposite sex while having a partner.
Friendship between men and women in a relationship is always a hotly debated topic. Countless films repeatedly ask whether this is possible, and there's also a discussion about so-called friends with benefits and platonic friendship. Although, of course, there are always couples who were first friends and then fell in love.
But what is this friendship between man and woman?
The fact is that, in a heterosexual friendship, platonic friendships with the opposite sex often represent a potential conflict. A man's best friend or a woman's best friend can become an emotional treadmill.
But why is this so? Why is platonic friendship between genders always questioned? When we're in a relationship, doubts often arise about whether our partner has a friend of the opposite sex. Why? Because we're afraid there's someone else, and that someone else is attraction.
It is not the friendship between man and woman that scares the couple
In fact, it's the fear that our partner might also be attracted to other people, because we feel threatened by this. However, the fear that our partner might be attracted to someone else is, to be honest, misguided, like all other fears. How likely is it that our partner will never be attracted to someone again? We all like spending time with people who are attracted to us. Whether physically, mentally, or on any other level, or even on several levels at the same time. It's simply unrealistic to believe that our partner will never find anyone else attractive again.
Therefore, the real danger isn't attraction. It can happen again and again, and, if we're honest, on both sides. Attraction between men and women, between people in general, can't be avoided at all.
But then what is it all about?
We don't think it's about attraction at all; it's about loyalty. I can meet many people I find attractive and still be loyal to my partner.
Therefore, the question isn't at all whether there can be friendship between a man and a woman. The question is much more: DO men and women WANT to be friends without going further?
Your partner's loyalty is NOT defined by the number of people he's NOT attracted to. His loyalty is demonstrated by the number of people (women) he's attracted to and still remains loyal to.
Therefore, we recommend not repressing or covering up your feelings. If there's a scandal, don't make excuses, defend your fears. Talk to your partner peacefully; don't leave what's bothering you in the dark. Then ask yourself if there's a reason for those feelings. Do you have any specific evidence that your partner is cheating on you? Realize it, because that's exactly what jealousy must quickly confront.
Don't let these disturbing thoughts take over all your time. Counteract them with memories of intimate, real moments in your relationship. Make it clear to yourself: there's a reason he/she's with you. There's love, unity, and harmony between you. You've experienced it! And there are still many wonderful moments to relive.
Secure a piece of your own life again, do things without your partner again. Go out with your friends more often, discover a sport you enjoy. The latter, in particular, is a small miracle cure, as it reduces stress, releases happiness hormones, keeps you young, fit, and makes you feel good. That, in turn, will wonderfully boost your self-confidence.
But even if you don't have a sense of sport: the best way to strengthen your self-confidence is any hobby of your own.
As mentioned, there are expectations of a partnership. It can be different for everyone, and the feeling of when loyalty ends is also very different.
Therefore, it's essential to clarify together what's okay and where your pain threshold is for both of you. Whatever's important to you, mention it and establish the rules. If you've defined them together, you have clear guidelines you can follow.
Help the jealous partner fully trust your feelings and appreciation. You can do this very easily, simply with loving gestures and words. A spontaneous compliment, a small gift, etc. All of these strengthen the bond and the other person's trust. It shows in the most beautiful way how important your partner is to you, that you are there for them, and that they can trust you will continue to be that way.
These are just tips that can help you keep jealousy at bay. However, if you notice it's reaching its limits, don't be afraid to go to therapy. On the contrary: be proud of this step. You've acknowledged the problem and simply can't stand it, but rather courageously and actively address the solution. You'll see how, over time, you can enjoy life and love more and more. That's exactly how it should be.
But what is this friendship between man and woman?
The fact is that, in a heterosexual friendship, platonic friendships with the opposite sex often represent a potential conflict. A man's best friend or a woman's best friend can become an emotional treadmill.
But why is this so? Why is platonic friendship between genders always questioned? When we're in a relationship, doubts often arise about whether our partner has a friend of the opposite sex. Why? Because we're afraid there's someone else, and that someone else is attraction.
It is not the friendship between man and woman that scares the couple
In fact, it's the fear that our partner might also be attracted to other people, because we feel threatened by this. However, the fear that our partner might be attracted to someone else is, to be honest, misguided, like all other fears. How likely is it that our partner will never be attracted to someone again? We all like spending time with people who are attracted to us. Whether physically, mentally, or on any other level, or even on several levels at the same time. It's simply unrealistic to believe that our partner will never find anyone else attractive again.
Therefore, the real danger isn't attraction. It can happen again and again, and, if we're honest, on both sides. Attraction between men and women, between people in general, can't be avoided at all.
But then what is it all about?
We don't think it's about attraction at all; it's about loyalty. I can meet many people I find attractive and still be loyal to my partner.
Therefore, the question isn't at all whether there can be friendship between a man and a woman. The question is much more: DO men and women WANT to be friends without going further?
Your partner's loyalty is NOT defined by the number of people he's NOT attracted to. His loyalty is demonstrated by the number of people (women) he's attracted to and still remains loyal to.
Therefore, we recommend not repressing or covering up your feelings. If there's a scandal, don't make excuses, defend your fears. Talk to your partner peacefully; don't leave what's bothering you in the dark. Then ask yourself if there's a reason for those feelings. Do you have any specific evidence that your partner is cheating on you? Realize it, because that's exactly what jealousy must quickly confront.
Don't let these disturbing thoughts take over all your time. Counteract them with memories of intimate, real moments in your relationship. Make it clear to yourself: there's a reason he/she's with you. There's love, unity, and harmony between you. You've experienced it! And there are still many wonderful moments to relive.
Secure a piece of your own life again, do things without your partner again. Go out with your friends more often, discover a sport you enjoy. The latter, in particular, is a small miracle cure, as it reduces stress, releases happiness hormones, keeps you young, fit, and makes you feel good. That, in turn, will wonderfully boost your self-confidence.
But even if you don't have a sense of sport: the best way to strengthen your self-confidence is any hobby of your own.
As mentioned, there are expectations of a partnership. It can be different for everyone, and the feeling of when loyalty ends is also very different.
Therefore, it's essential to clarify together what's okay and where your pain threshold is for both of you. Whatever's important to you, mention it and establish the rules. If you've defined them together, you have clear guidelines you can follow.
Help the jealous partner fully trust your feelings and appreciation. You can do this very easily, simply with loving gestures and words. A spontaneous compliment, a small gift, etc. All of these strengthen the bond and the other person's trust. It shows in the most beautiful way how important your partner is to you, that you are there for them, and that they can trust you will continue to be that way.
These are just tips that can help you keep jealousy at bay. However, if you notice it's reaching its limits, don't be afraid to go to therapy. On the contrary: be proud of this step. You've acknowledged the problem and simply can't stand it, but rather courageously and actively address the solution. You'll see how, over time, you can enjoy life and love more and more. That's exactly how it should be.
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