Moving in with your partner.
A very big step in a relationship, one that shouldn't be rushed. Whoever asks, both must be absolutely sure they want to do it. Not only is it a huge commitment for the relationship, but it's also a huge commitment between two people. Living with someone else is quite an adventure, whether they're just roommates or your romantic partner. Of course, when it comes to dating, things always get more complicated, which is why they should always be.
Wait for the right moment:
While we can't measure readiness by time, because it doesn't matter how long you've been in the relationship, what matters is the maturity and commitment of both partners. What we can do is assess your current state as a couple. Have you slept together yet? Have you stayed at each other's houses for several days? Have you been on long trips as a couple?
All of this influences your decision-making. If you've already done one or all of these things, chances are you're not just talking for the sake of it and are ready or very close to it. Living with your partner must be a wonderful step. You want to take the relationship forward. You want to come home from work and meet that special person, have breakfast together every morning, and talk about your day in person before bed.
But it's also about sharing expenses. Utilities, rent, groceries, etc. Paying bills on time, sleeping together but having alarms go off at different times. Washing dishes, cleaning, decorating the home, cleaning and organizing, taking a long time to bathe, sharing a bathroom, etc.
Perhaps this last one is one of the most important and difficult for people. Let your partner know, listen to you, and share the same bathroom with you. If you haven't crossed that line before living together, be prepared when you do, because there's no going back. That's why it's so important.
Agree:
Everything, absolutely everything. What was mentioned above and what wasn't, it's up to you to decide what you'll talk about, but it's a big step that shouldn't be taken lightly, so take your time to sit down and talk it over. Plan the move in the near future, but give it a couple of weeks or more to fully wrap your heads around the idea.
This way, you'll discover any doubts or insecurities, and you'll be able to resolve them or back out before it's too late. Because not being ready isn't illegal; maybe you just need to spend a little more time alone together. Do you already have the keys to each other's apartment? This could be a good start—arriving at each other's house at any time, any day. It sounds like a good start to preparing to live together.
Whoever asks to move in, if the other person isn't ready and has the courage to tell you, don't get angry, don't complain. Sit down and listen to why they aren't ready. Or, over the course of a few days, evaluate the relationship and yourself. Maybe you're not giving them everything they need. You both need to complement each other. You both need to feel secure before making the decision. No one likes to feel rejected, but if they're doing it with you, there's a reason.
Extraordinary events:
There are times when you've been at the other person's house for several days or even weeks. It may be that, after that time has passed, it's your turn to come over. And suddenly, you start to think you're practically living together. It's not like that.
It's a start; it's similar, but not the same. Perhaps this time will help them make the decision or slow things down for a moment. They aren't sharing expenses or the aforementioned responsibilities, but it does give them a good idea of what the future holds if they decide to get together.
Having a good time, enjoying the time you spend together so much, doesn't mean you're ready, not at all. But it's a good indicator that the person you're with is someone special and you're compatible with living together.
Wait for the right moment:
While we can't measure readiness by time, because it doesn't matter how long you've been in the relationship, what matters is the maturity and commitment of both partners. What we can do is assess your current state as a couple. Have you slept together yet? Have you stayed at each other's houses for several days? Have you been on long trips as a couple?
All of this influences your decision-making. If you've already done one or all of these things, chances are you're not just talking for the sake of it and are ready or very close to it. Living with your partner must be a wonderful step. You want to take the relationship forward. You want to come home from work and meet that special person, have breakfast together every morning, and talk about your day in person before bed.
But it's also about sharing expenses. Utilities, rent, groceries, etc. Paying bills on time, sleeping together but having alarms go off at different times. Washing dishes, cleaning, decorating the home, cleaning and organizing, taking a long time to bathe, sharing a bathroom, etc.
Perhaps this last one is one of the most important and difficult for people. Let your partner know, listen to you, and share the same bathroom with you. If you haven't crossed that line before living together, be prepared when you do, because there's no going back. That's why it's so important.
Agree:
Everything, absolutely everything. What was mentioned above and what wasn't, it's up to you to decide what you'll talk about, but it's a big step that shouldn't be taken lightly, so take your time to sit down and talk it over. Plan the move in the near future, but give it a couple of weeks or more to fully wrap your heads around the idea.
This way, you'll discover any doubts or insecurities, and you'll be able to resolve them or back out before it's too late. Because not being ready isn't illegal; maybe you just need to spend a little more time alone together. Do you already have the keys to each other's apartment? This could be a good start—arriving at each other's house at any time, any day. It sounds like a good start to preparing to live together.
Whoever asks to move in, if the other person isn't ready and has the courage to tell you, don't get angry, don't complain. Sit down and listen to why they aren't ready. Or, over the course of a few days, evaluate the relationship and yourself. Maybe you're not giving them everything they need. You both need to complement each other. You both need to feel secure before making the decision. No one likes to feel rejected, but if they're doing it with you, there's a reason.
Extraordinary events:
There are times when you've been at the other person's house for several days or even weeks. It may be that, after that time has passed, it's your turn to come over. And suddenly, you start to think you're practically living together. It's not like that.
It's a start; it's similar, but not the same. Perhaps this time will help them make the decision or slow things down for a moment. They aren't sharing expenses or the aforementioned responsibilities, but it does give them a good idea of what the future holds if they decide to get together.
Having a good time, enjoying the time you spend together so much, doesn't mean you're ready, not at all. But it's a good indicator that the person you're with is someone special and you're compatible with living together.
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